Why doesn't my alarm clock work?

My alarm clock

I’ve got a strange feeling that it actually does, and it’s really my ears that don’t … nah, that can’t be possible.

Seriously, though, alarm clocks for me have never – ever – succeeded in fulfilling their purpose. I guess you could say that I sleep deeply (and I mean, really deeply) because nowadays, I just sleep right through the alarm’s ringing, and when I wake up (a good 2-3 hours later), I gaze suspiciously at the clock’s innocent face and groggily wonder, Wha-! … but, but, but … How? … uhh …

Then, sometimes I surprisingly do hear the alarm ringing, but it’s such an irritating noise that – in my head – I will it to shut up. I don’t know if that works, because I just fall asleep before it stops.

Earlier, when I used to have these analog clocks whose alarms keep ringing for a good half hour, it used to be even weirder. The ringing noise would inevitably feature in one of my convoluted dreams as some device which can’t be switched off. Then suddenly, I’d wake up, realize it’s a dream, switch off my alarm and fall back to sleep, only to start dreaming about something else.

*eye roll*
I give up.